Inside My Mind

2006-01-14T07:47:00.000-08:00

The Missionary (Part II)

Where do I begin? I don’t think I have much to say. I found out something about myself I thought wasn’t true. I found I can truly empathize and feel another person’s pain. I found I can stop being judgmental and self righteous if I let go of having to control the situation. I found if I let God in, the strength I lack He gives. I don’t think I went through any metamorphosis, but I know a part of me has changed. In many ways, as I was tearing down walls and cleaning up muck, I too was tearing down my own walls and cleaning up my heart. It is a part of my walk with God I had to experience so I may grow more and move closer to Him.

Going home to New Orleans was painful in a way. Places and things I once knew are gone. Landmarks and history have been erased, but it truly doesn’t matter, because those things were mortal. A part of me wanted to stay behind to create new places for immortals to come home to. I wanted to be an instant billionaire so I could give every penny away. I wanted my parents to have a home again. I wanted my mission teammates to be interested in the city I called home from birth. I wanted God to be proud of me. I wanted Him to know I love Him and I need Him. I wanted to go home to Him, but New Orleans was my reminder that my work for Him is unfinished. I wanted God to be proud of me.

2006-01-03T05:33:00.000-08:00

The Missionary

(Part I)

Over much of my life, missionaries were people who went into the deepest jungles, sustained the greatest woes and often gave up everything to help those who do not know God. I always thought missionaries built churches, roads, friendships and provided education, medical support and other humanitarian aid. My perception of the missionary was what I saw on TV. Much of that perception still holds. However, what happens to a missionary is much deeper. I had the benefit of going on a mission trip with 10 of my fellow Seneca Creekers. We traveled to New Orleans (my home for all of my life sans the last 7 years) and began the process of tearing down and sifting through. It was a process I did not like, mostly because it exposed my emotions and reduced my strength. However, it was what I needed. Like anything needing rebuilding, you need to take off the old to put on the new (this is also stated in the Bible). So now another part of my journey is underway and like anyone else, God is to direct all my paths. My sin nature will rebel against this, and I will fall many times but I will only fall to get up again.

2005-12-25T08:05:00.000-08:00

'Tis the season

Christmas always had a special meaning for me. Ever since I could remember, every Christmas was wonderful. There were times I didn't get what I wanted (materially), but I did get exactly what I needed. I never thought about these things until I was older. Now that I am older, Christmas has matured with me. I'm not wrapped up in having to get things or have the most expensive things. Rather, I am more content in the feeling of being. God has done more for me than I could ever imagine and He has given me everything. Materially, I do like gadgets and what not because they provide the "short-term-human-fun". God, on the other hand, sustains my soul, gives me grace, redeems me, and feeds my spirit. I am in a better state of mind and at peace. God bless everyone and merry Christmas.

2005-12-20T05:36:00.000-08:00

The Life You Always Wanted

What is the life you always wanted? Was it fame, fortune, great love or utter perfection? Were the hopes and dreams in your life something of fairytale or was it simply to live life to the fullest? No matter the true reason we hold within and sometimes dare not share with others for the sake of appearing shallow, the life you always wanted is more than any of these things and is quite attainable. The problem? Well, the life we always wanted is very difficult to achieve simply because of our sin nature, and it includes all seven of the deadly sins. However, despite these things, Christ showed us how to get the life we always wanted. He modeled it by virtue of his perfection and great love for us. The life all of us want is enmeshed in the spiritual disciplines. The spiritual life requires no special talents or gifts. The spiritual life requires no great secrets to be revealed nor does it require great stories of triumph. Rather, the spiritual life is a "round table" of Christ followers with a common goal. The spirtual life is a journey we will all take together and will share in its splendor, the changing of our hearts, the enriching of our minds, and the comforting of our souls.

Avoid Gluttony:
Proverbs 23:1-3 (New International Version)
1 When you sit to dine with a ruler, note well what [a] is before you,
2 and put a knife to your throat if you are given to gluttony.
3 Do not crave his delicacies, for that food is deceptive.

Have Joy and Celebration:
Proverbs 15:13 (New International Version)
A happy heart makes the face cheerful, but heartache crushes the spirit.

Be Meek:
1 Peter 5:5 (New International Version)
Young men, in the same way be submissive to those who are older. All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, "God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble."

Abstain from things you know to be wrong:
1 Thessalonians 5:21-22 (New International Version)
21Test everything. Hold on to the good.
22Avoid every kind of evil.

Humble yourself:
Luke 14:11 (New International Version)
For everyone who exalts himself will be humbled, and he who humbles himself will be exalted."

Worship Him:
Revelation 4:11 (New International Version)
"You are worthy, our Lord and God, to receive glory and honor and power, for you created all things, and by your will they were created and have their being."

2005-09-14T18:20:00.000-07:00

What's the Rush?

We have, minute rice, microwaveable mac and cheese in a minute, text messaging that takes a minute and oil changes in 30 minutes or less. I have some questions to ask that will take a few minutes to answer. Respond to me via e-mail or comment on this blog. Thanks.

1. Why are we in a hurry?
2. What benefit is to you to rush?
3. What's the worst that could happen if you slow down?
4. How does hurry benefit you (health wise)?
5. What great cause does hurrying serve?
6. What's wrong with stopping for moment to take a deep breath?
7. Where is it written in the Bible that we should hurry?

Now, try this excercise for me. In the morning before you walk to or passed your car, stop ten feet away, close your eyes and say the following prayer: Thank you Lord for this day and for your love in every way. Now, look towards the sky and take a deep breath and pause for about 20 seconds. Don't rush through it. It will only take about a minute.

2005-08-08T17:50:00.000-07:00

Seeking Forgiveness

In any relationship, seeking forgiveness for your transgressions is paramount to healing wounds and injustices. Because of our own baggage and self-righteousness it becomes hard to see when we have not only stepped on toes but broken a couple of them in the process. Sometimes you feel you shouldn't have to seek forgiveness because you think the transgression was much too little to worry about and we all know there is no use in crying over spilled milk. However, this train of thought will lead to conflict after conflict, leaving one common denominator as the cause; yes, you. Speaking from experience I sometimes feel I have mastered the art of toe stepping and often feel like what's the big deal. Get over your hurt feelings and move on, chances are the transgressor already has, but keep this in mind. "The ability to swing your arm ends where the other person's nose begins." My sister June told me that years ago.

Put pride, self-righteousness and all other selfish thoughts aside for a moment. Because of our imperfection, we will do many things that we must atone for. We must seek forgiveness often and it must be with sincerity and humility. We must adopt a heart for love and only by changing within, can we change the reaction we receive from others. 'Then Peter came to Him and said, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times? Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you , up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven." Matthew 18:21,22

Don't do the math because that wasn't the point of what Jesus was saying. Simply stated, every time you have been transgressed, you should seek to forgive as he that has sinned against you will seek your forgiveness. Holding on to bitterness, contempt and regret are sins within themselves. "Do not remember the former things, nor consider the things of old. Behold I will do a new thing, now it shall spring forth; shall you not know it? I will even make a road in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." Isaiah 43:18,19 "If you forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive men their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." Matthew 6:14, 15

Will you take this time and think of those you have wronged, and present your sorrow with truth, humility and sincerity. Do not seek forgiveness to make yourself feel good, because then you have accomplished nothing. Seek forgiveness for your transgression in that your relationship with God becomes stronger and your fellowship impermeable to the Enemy.

2005-07-22T23:14:00.000-07:00

Feeling rather low can further aggravate feelings of worry. The distraction is overwhelming and the real world problems you face are compounding faster. You begin to feel the physical symptoms of worry; fatigue, upset stomach, aches and pains. Now, mental symptoms become onset; anger, anxiety, forgetfulness, doubt, uncertainness and fear. It seems almost daily, you receive bad news of some sort and deadlines are now staring you in the face. People's expectations are growing more and more. Now you are in the rain without an umbrella. You don't know where to turn or who to turn to. You heard of Jesus and you heard of these people called Christians, but from what you have seen of them, there is now way they can help. It is now up to you to do something, but what?

It is true that Christians suffer the same things as everyone else and they sin if not worse than everyone else (this isn't new). However, people who truly follow God's word and give to Him everything begin to experience something quite different. Once Christians focus less on themselves and serve others a life change begins. This step is key. It is the beginning. Serving is the basis to what Jesus did for us and is no more prevalent than what he did for his disciples before his crucifixion. It is through service we find love, peace, humility and understanding. "When He (Jesus) had finished washing their (disciples) feet, He put on His clothes and returned to his place. 'Do you understand what I have done for you?' He asked them. 'You call me Teacher and Lord and rightly so, for that is what I am.' Now that I , your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet.' 'I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you'. 'I tell you the truth, no servant is greater than his master, nor is a messenger greater than the one who sent him.' Now that you know these things, you will be blessed if you do them.'
John 13:12-17

As you serve one another, and take the focus off your own issues and problems, worry begins to fade and uncertainty gives way to certainty. Service is the first and one of the most important steps to eliminate worry. Lastly, pride plays a large part to worry. We feel we are the only one that can solve the problem and that we are the only one who knows best. That's pride talking and it will lead you down a road filled with worry and unceratinty. Seek God in His infinite love and wisdom. He will deliver you as He delivered me.

Uncertainty and Worry

2005-07-19T10:02:00.000-07:00

Certainly I am no different than anyone else and by no means am I better, so it is easy to say that I feel uncertain and I worry like everyone else. However, is it an excuse to do nothing? We often treat uncertainty and worry like they are our best friends and allow them to dominate our lives. Where did we lose control? What are we so worried about? I feel it all has to do with distraction and deception by the Enemy. Think about it. If you wanted to overtake someone, what better way to do it than by presenting them with real difficulty and reminding them they are all alone. Now repeat the pattern continually on a daily basis. Now the Enemy thinks he's slick but God is smarter because he gave us a remedy.

Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more important tha food, and the body more important than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? And why do you worry about clothes? See how the lilies of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. If that is how God who clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you, O' you of little faith? So do not worry, saying "What shall we eat?" or "What shall we drink?" or "What shall we wear?" For the pagans run after all these things, and your hevenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 6:25-34

There are other verses which deal with worry, Philippians 4:6-7 is one. In Matthew 6:25-34, Jesus teaches us about worry. I have dealt with uncertainty and worry like anyone else, but there is a remedy. You see, once you take the focus off yourself and your own issues and begin to trust in the Lord and follow His instructions, your worries are over. It doesn't seem that simple but it is. The problem is that we often want to be in control and we often want to manipulate our future to our own selfish desires, hence, we sweat the small stuff and ignore the bigger issue. We are prone for failure and disaster because we want God to be in the passenger seat and for Him to let us do the driving. So, don't worry, Jesus is only a prayer away. He will soothe your spirit, calm your nerves and wash away your fears.

I will continue more on the subject in another blog. For now the discussion is open.